One Year and Counting...

"You are the only person alive who has sole custody of your life. Not just your life at a desk, or your life on the bus, or in the car, or at the computer. Not just the life of your mind, but the life of your heart. Not just your bank account, but your soul." --Anna Quindlen

The Compliment Giver sent me flowers today.

He did so for the anniversary of leaving the husband-formerly-known-as-mine. As one of The Boys said this morning..."you spend your time chasing one when it's clear that you should be going after another." He's probably right. But, I also had lunch today with Mr. Penny.

Perhaps, I am now a player. Well play on play-a...

These are the things I love about the last year. Despite all of the drama, I love being single. Despite some of the tears, I still wouldn't have it any other way. Despite all the changes that have come, I still don't regret one day I've had over the last year.

It's funny, I have spent the last couple of days trying to figure out what I would write about today, this, the one year anniversary of leaving the husband-formerly-known-as-mine. I read through lots of my favorite inspirational books looking for just that, inspiration...not for me, but for what to write today. I waded through the journal of quotes I have been keeping for the last ten years (I'm a sucker for a good quote), and found so little that actually expressed everything I wanted to say neatly and succinctly.

I'm also a sucker for flowers.

And suddenly, it's not important to recount what I have learned and who I have grown into over the last year, it's just important to acknowledge that I have. Suddenly I realize that what today is, is just a time to celebrate renewal. Saying goodbye to the past, and cherishing those memories. It's a time to move forward, thankful for all I have learned in the last twelve months. It's time to say thank you to NB-C, Vee, SEDW, Julia, Amer for reminding me of that person I knew I was all along. To all my friends for helping me along the way.

I've learned and I have grown. I think that, especially in the last four months, I've really started to figure some things out. And I think more than ever, I have peace of mind. I've never regretted the decision to pursue my own happiness. I've never felt like it was the wrong decision. I've never cared what anyone else thought either. I didn't do it for anyone other than me. I've never regretted being married to or leaving the husband-formerly-known-as-mine. He is a good person and I will always hold him in my heart, I will always carry him with me. I made all of the decisions over the last year on my own and can only hold myself accountable. I don't regret my choices and I know that I am still learning.

The last year has renewed ME.

I was lost for so long...For so many years, I was a shell of myself. Me, the happy-go-lucky-glass-half-full-girl who got by solely on smiling through the tears that flooded my entire being. I was not the person my friends and family really knew me to be. I was no longer me. So I've spent the last year trying to get back. Trying to get home to myself.

And now, one year later, I have arrived. I can say undoubtedly that I am back.

And it feels good.