Happy Birthday Baby Girl !

I love you, Rebekah!!! I still can't believe you are 22 already - but I will never forget the day you were born for as long as live. How could I ever have known how much you would bless my life, all of our lives...You are God's gift to me, and to so many who are lucky enough to know and love you. I am so proud to have you as my sister.

On My Belgian's Soil

  
Ten days ago I left on a journey. A journey to someplace new. To a life and culture foreign to my own. Ten days ago, days that have slipped through my fingers quicker than sand...

Ten days ago, I left on a journey a much different person than when I returned. I can already say that with a profound certainty. I returned with an inner peace that I had not expected to find. A journey without the fixed mark of a destination, a journey which has brought me another step closer to myself.

I stepped in only for a moment to peer into someone else's world - into the life of a most treasured friend, and into the world of many people whom I will never forget. I tiptoed briefly as a stranger in a strangeland and found myself with eyes that were always ready to see more, a profound eagerness to learn, a true desire to meet new friends, and to genuinely appreciate all that was put before me.

Belgium was magical.

It was the kind of trip everyone should have at least once in a lifetime. And it was such a trip because of my tour guide. I really couldn't have had a better one, or one that I would have wanted to have more. Anyway, perhaps that's something for another day, but before I get to caught up on that, here are a few observations from this American Girl on her Belgian's soil:

• Belgium is flat. For some reason I thought it would be mountainous. But no.
• The grass is really green. Like green as in astroturf green. I wonder if that saying "the grass is always greener on the other side" might really be true.
• American's need to walk more. And ride bikes more. And be friendlier to those around them.
• Some songs like "Dear Mr. President" can really rile up a Belgian. Or songs that are themes for the different cities. The Red Hot Chili Peppers seem to have found their spot, Christina Aguleria and Beyonce are overplayed. And favorite songs, sound all the better when the person they remind you of is sitting next to you.
• Who knew? They love Hillary and don't, euhm, care for our current commander in chief.
• People are friendly in Belgium. They buy drinks for everyone in the bar. They talk to each other and not in a fake, "hi how are ya," don't really care but thanks kind of way.
• Belgian pubs rock. Especially the Continental. And the beautiful bartender and her fabulously-lemony-and-oh-so-delightfully-intoxicating drinks.
• I apparently look like Barbra Streisand, even in Belgium.
• Belgian beer is the best. Undoubtadly. Unquestionably. And the glasses are pretty great, too. Even the ones that make you look silly when you drink from them, ahem, Kwak.
• Cows in Belgium look different. They are mostly white but all seem to have color on their ankles, and I think they are fatter but not fat in an American-we-will-inject-all-animals-with-hormones kind of way. Not to mention that they sure are tasty!!!
• You can still smoke in the hospitals -- cafeteria only. But not in some restaurants.
• Dining is enjoyable in Belgium. It's relaxed. It's un-hurried. It's what it should be always like. It's take your time and enjoy your food and your company. There is a pretty fabulous one called LaRiva that you should go to next time you happen to be in Antwerp.
• Cake time is 4:00 p.m.!!!
• Belgian waffles really do taste better in cafe's in Gent.
• Ice cream is a perfectly acceptable lunch.
• I have finally found a country who has the same profound appreciation for the finest food in all the world :: the fry. I won't say the "F" word, because as I know now, it was really the Belgians who created that wonderful treat. God bless them for it!
• The sun doesn't come up until after 8:00 a.m. and sets by 5:30 or so. That makes for lots of time to sleep.
• Did you know that there are Buckeye's in Brussels? I found one in the park. Of all things. I found a Buckeye. (Nut that is)
• Maybe what I observed most of all, and appreciate most of all is that some things are the same no matter what your geographical location: The struggle of the heart and how it affects all of us.

I think if I sat here long enough I could think of a million more reasons to fall in love with a place like Belgium. There is so much to love and to look at with awe and true wonderment. It leaves you wishing that you could ever have a life filled with so much culture and heritage and pride. It makes you see how wasteful American's are, how desensitized we are to just enjoying life because we always are in a hurry to get to whatever is next. How we have lost the ability to enjoy each other, and each other's company. It makes you long for something more...

And yet, there is a familiar ease in coming home. An ease to be back in your routine, and your way of life...A comfort in the faces of the people who are your friends, and the sky and the sun and world that make up your surroundings. Even still, I seem to be unable to unpack my luggage, as if that simple act will make the reality of being home...well, real.

I think now back to the beginning of my journey only ten days ago, how I felt at the moment I stepped off the plane. A stranger in a strangeland...an American Girl in a place that seemed so foreign. On her Belgian's soil. The same girl who when she left only seven days later, looked back as we drove away, away from a place that now seems so familiar.

What I have taken with me, what has been changed in me because of my few but blessed days on my Belgian's soil is that I will never forget now what it means to take time to enjoy. I feel renewed, and confident that I will go out more and make time to enjoy those friends around me. I will make myself enjoy the outside, even when it's cold. I will walk more places. I will speak to people instead of being cordial. I will slow down. I will drink good beer, definitely champagne, and I will always eat fries. I will dream of a time and a place when I was spoiled more than I deserved. I will remember what it is to live every moment.

I will think about the spirit and the smiles and the laughter of the people I met, how they never treated me as a stranger...and I will know...I will cherish...I will remember...

I am forever changed.

  

  

  

  

  

The Bitch Is Back

Had the most fantastic week in Belgium...I will fill all you eager people in as soon as I can come up for air...but let's just say I will have memories to last a lifetime, smiles to fill the sad days, and the blessing of friends, new and old, who make my journey the best ride anyone could ever hope for.

Much Needed Hiatus

Hi.

I'm travelling abroad right now. Well not right this second. But soon. I will be. Like in about 24-hours or something silly like that. So you must amuse yourselves and pull up a chair in about 9-days. I'm sure I'll have something to say. Pictures to be seen. Stories to be told. We'll see. Anywho! Off to the big B! Wish me luck that I make my flight. Wish me luck that my luggage arrives. Wish that next week will make up for the random/crazy/crappy week of this past one (aside from fun honor/trip)... More on that later. Cheers friends! Kisses!

Sing Me a Song of the Islands

It's sort of been a strange few weeks. But I'm totally digging 2007...I got selected to the elite circle at my place of employment today. Selected to join a chosen few who are recognized for their hard work and commitment to the company over the last year. It's a huge honor and reward - and my prize is a 4-day cruise around the Caribbean...Oh, did I mention its all expenses paid. For me. And a friend. I'm giggling. Tee hee...

And The Battle Rages On

Time to begin looking for a new job. Or maybe new career.

Somethings came to my attention this morning that have finally marked the place where I must begin to make a decision about the future of my career. Unfortunately, I don't want to leave my current surroundings - but may be forced to. Perhaps this is the time to make a decision about moving as well. Albeit much sooner in the year than I had hoped.

Anyone have any suggestions of:

1) What I should do with the rest of my life?

2) Where I should call home!


I work in a pink collared ghetto and the man is keepin' me down.

Beotche.

Somebody in Singapore Loves Me...

Yep.

I'm a true international woman of mystery.

Speaking of...I haven't officially said it, but, I'm going to Belgium a week from Sunday. I don't think I've really staked it's claim yet, or at least announced it here. But I am. And I am pretty excited. Scared. Nervous. Excited. Estatic. It's sort of like every emotion you could possibly have all rolled into one. See there's this boy and well, he's pretty fantastic, a great friend met by chance, and someone I'm not likely to ever forget. Anyway, I'm going. Even if it's crazy or illogical. Or totally outer limits. Sometimes this girl just has to go.

Wherever. The road. May. Lead.

It's also the first time I've been on a real "vacation" in over two years. I can't express how much I am looking forward to not being in Lexington, or Columbus for that matter...but someplace completely new to me - a world much different from my own. One that I'm sure to come back from only a week - with a lifetime of stories - and one in which I have no idea what it will mean in the end.

I've already seen how this year is about letting my course set it's own sail. And believing that the course is worth sailing. Funny thing is, I don't care where it may lead - or where it may not - it's just sort of about the journey I come to take along the way. It's the journey that inspires me - not the destination. For me, looking to the destination isn't something I can personally fixate on anymore - it's something I used to try to do - but something I no longer find worthwhile. I strive now only for the things I may come to learn, the places I'm blessed to go, and the people I'm lucky enough to share the road with. Maybe it's the peace I've been looking for all along...

Just being in the moment. Not trying to figure out the what happens after.

I believe that this year will be a turning point for me - and the person I am yet to become. There is something sweet in that. Knowing that I am continuing to grow, to strive, and learn. To me this journey is about not getting fixated on the ghosts of the pasts, the ghosts of the present, or the ghosts of the future - but just enjoying the realness of the moment. Perhaps that's why I'm going to Belgium, perhaps that's why I am scared and excited and don't care if it makes sense or not. But just because.

Because it makes sense to me.

Because there is a fabulous person at the end of the road who I feel comfort in just being next to. A friend to whom I'm forever grateful. A man who knows how to make me feel like a million bucks even from a seemingly insurmountable distance. He who is the most unlikely, but who has the most indescribable eyes I've ever seen. And he who is the most endearing person I've ever encountered.

An act of faith. Of hope? Of wonder.

A journey.


A journey which I'm prepared to take, and one that I take willingly.

Mo' Money, Mo' Problems

Got a raise.

Small. One.

But one that allows me to get off the welfare line for at least the next few months. Said promotion still lurking overhead, looking positive, but not official. Yet.

So...I've moved from the destitute to comfortable poor category. Yay me.



Brighter disContent, 8 days. And oh hell ya, I'm counting...

No. Really?

Yep, I Bought 'Em

Totally unlike me, but totally Carrie Bradshaw ala "Hello, Lover..."

Oh, Kate - I thought of you when I did it too...Here's my first official pair of fabulous black shoes for 2007. When you find a gem like these, how can the year go wrong!!!

I literally had 8 women stop me in the shoe store while trying them on telling me I must buy them. Best quote so far :: My mother. "I hope you don't stand on any street corners. I thought you said they were practical?" HA!

Not exactly practical, mother, but damn sassy.

We Now Go Back To Your Regularly Scheduled Blogging

So I've once again been down the long road of what the hell to post here lately. I'm not sure what my dealio is. Kind of in a funk lately. Hoping that my funk will soon be over since the holidays are officially over and real life can get back to just that. Hoping to move forward from the last blog and perhaps one of the most disturbing weeks of the past year.

Ah. Real life.

I could have posted something about the remains of the past year. In fact, I thought about it on Sunday. I also thought about it on New Year's Day. But, well...you were here. You know what happened. You know what didn't happen. You knew of the people. You knew of the places. You knew all there was to know about what was, and what wasn't in 2006.

I started this blog one year ago tomorrow. A lifetime of stories, memories, and happenings ago it seems. 2006 was better than 2005. But it wasn't great. It was, just as every new year is - a new place to start, a new beginning and a new hope (that maybe this year will be better than the last).

I can't wait for that year that I never want to let go of.

Maybe it'll be 2007.

• Perhaps I'll finally get that promotion, and raise. (Please...)
• Perhaps I'll travel more. And travel to better places. And learn more...and so help me God this Fall of a winter we're having better not decide to get trixie around January 21.
• Perhaps I'll just listen to my own intuition. You know. Really listen to what feels right. And go for it. Even if it means letting go.
• Perhaps this year, I'll finally buy a couple new tires for the Honda. Or maybe get her a tune up. She would like that.
• Perhaps this year, I'll go to church.
• Perhaps this year, I'll buy a dress I really love and that really looks great on me. From Paris.
• Maybe, I'll learn to forgive him. Maybe, I'll finally let the words he cursed me with wash away for good. Maybe I'll finally stop believing them.
• Maybe, I'll drink less or try to at least learn when to say when.
• Maybe, I'll keep certain expectations high and lower the trivial ones.
• Maybe, I'll cuss less. Or at least speak softer when I do. And not as much at work.
• This year, I will do something for myself that allows me to really live.
• This year, I will not settle in my career because its easy. I'll take the reigns.
• This year, I will decide for good whether or not to finally move to VA/DC/other.
• This year, I will not gossip. As. Much.
• This year, I will go to the gym and I will eat better. I will be okay with it when I don't.
• This year, I will spend more time with Slimy. And Joey.
• This year, I will go see SEDW & Daniel.
• This year, I will go see Vee.
• This year, I will take a girls trip.
• This year, I will have one great day like last Friday.
• This year, I will follow my heart. At least once. And I will follow it wherever it tells me to go.
• This year, I will believe in possiblility. I will try to stop being so negative.
• This year, I will stop wondering why he didn't choose me.
• This year, I will get a hobby. And maybe start volunteering again.
• This year, I will keep trying to be nicer to people. But I will confront them too, if necessary.
• This year, I will keep trying to be a better person than I was a year ago.

This year. This year. This year...The list of what I want to achieve is endless...

I. Will. Become. Everything. I've. Been. Striving. To. Become.

And I won't feel too bad if I don't...there's always next year.

So here's to me and here's to you - and most importantly, here's to a 2007 none of us want to let go of...