The Least Complicated

It's been a good week. You know, not the kind of week where everything is perfect. But the kind of week where your routine is changed, maybe for the better, even if only for a brief second. It's been the kind where you are grateful for the split seconds that come to pass because they give you different scenery and surprising bits of change. Where you feel abnormal and yet, happy, all in a matter of minutes. Hours. Days. Not where you gain profound, life changing moments. But where you just have nothing to complain about. Nothing to feel sad about. Or extremely happy about either. Where it's just calm. And the peace comes over you. Where you know, that you are still in a huge state of change. That the change is going to be okay.

So as I sit two stories above the street, I can only reflect on the week that has come and is on its way to being gone:

• A flawless weekend in Northern Virgina, spent with family...spent with people who just know who I am...spent in the glorious sunlight...even if the sunlight was temporarily interrupted by the earth shattering stock revelation...it still rocked out.
• Traveling, again, to the city I loathe, but bearable for the good of earning miles.
• Somewhere where questions of earnestness are pervasive in every spoken sentence.
• Where the finality of the most important of friendships is revealed and concluded in a single word.
• In a place where you've seen a long-haired man, carrying a chihuahua in a bag.
• A found sacred temple for men who like to wear shorts, black socks, and sandals.
• Someplace where Geek gets its definition and women with plastic surgery are the norm.
• Sitting in the LAX airport, surrounded by English blokes and middle aged-American wannabes.
• Where you hear an accent, steal a glance, and a woman is immediately set on fire.
• Days that leave your knees and joints mangled.
• Surrounded by people who may never love you for you, at least not the way you were used to.
• Where an orange polo shirt, a favorite pair of jeans, horrible - yet semi-fashionable shoes, and accessories by Tiffany, Coach, and Gucci seem to just have to work as an ensemble.
• Where you are thrilled and horrified by the thought of a red-eye.
• The same place where 3-glasses of Merlot and McDonald's make a fine dinner.
• A place where you can say "I'm heading back to the East coast," and after the words cross your lips it finally hits you that you fulfilled your goal. To go, instead of wish. To have the documentation to prove it.
• To be carb-laden; bloated; and menstruating.
• The only place in the world where you can see a newscaster, faintly reminiscent of Jewel (with better teeth), delivering the weather forecast in a baby doll dress.
• Somewhere where Lindsay Lohan's recent arrest was not only the biggest headline, but also breaking local news.
• Where concrete and palm trees are supposed to form Paradise.
• In a place where commercials seem to perpetuate your divorced-American family because of how great you look after your Fantastic Sam's haircut.
• Thousands of miles away from the boss who doesn't know your cell phone despite 1) it being the number he called you on in order to hire you; 2) it being attached to all your email signatures; and 3) it being given to him prior to your departure.
• How sweet the feeling of getting a taxi and arriving to your door in only 20-minutes after landing .
• Seeing your best friend (albeit it of the canine variety) after a few days away.
• Arriving to a Gorgeous Giggling Frenchman (GGF) surprisingly back on your shores.
• Being so tired on a Thursday night, but spending an hour and a half talking to someone who is fast becoming a best friend, and feeling somehow revived after hearing her voice.
• Being asked to lunch with said GGF...
• ...and dinner too...
• Feeling a sense of accomplishment two months after arriving, still without regrets.
• Being okay. Financially. Emotionally. Professionally.

Yep, I'm pretty sure that next week it will all go to shit.

For My Slimy

It's been like, eighteen years or something since I first wished you a happy birthday...and although I'm a bit early, I wanted to make sure you knew that I am still thinking about you on your birthday all these years later.

In honor of your thirty first, I wanted to give you a trip down memory lane. Just thing, if you never bought this, then you would have never named your son after my favorite New Kid...
Joey Joey, which, I might add, was said here, first (I believe).



It's Sole, you know? Seafood... God, that video changed my life.

Have a great birthday!!!

Love ya!

Oh Shit

I just found out/confirmed...

I lost in the excess of $30k in stock to follow the yellow brick road to move here.

I just screamed. And cussed @&*@&#@*&#@*&#@*#&@*#&@*# HOLY SHITTTTTTTT.

I could have paid off my debt.

Are you F'in kidding me???

This shit only happens to me.

Eww.

Dear friends,

I'm back to the City of Angels this week. Perhaps this time, I'll see him:



There is always hope.

If you don't have plans and say, you wanted to get away next Tuesday, you could join me for an overnight romp here:



Free hotel!


Anyway, this week has been crazy and the good part of crazy during the week means that I'm getting very busy at work and actually getting to do what it is they hired me to do. I also got to catch up with a good friend from college this week - and the hours passed by effortlessly and all too quickly. My aunt and her family is in town this weekend and I had a great day shopping, lunching, and talking with her yesterday (not to mention I walked away with a new pair of some fantastic Gucci sunglasses, compliments of her). It's been a great weekend spent with family, full of sunshine and incredible weather. I'm also reading Wicked. And LOVING it. It's the first book in a very long time that I haven't wanted to put down.

Yawn.

That makes for some really boring blog material.

Back soon with tales from another tradeshow floor...

Cheers,
N

Beauty In The Breakdown

After the blog rebranding effort, I've been a little more than lax on providing any really significant content (if you couldn't already tell). So my little daily diatribes have had to suffice for the last couple of weeks.

The truth is, I've been spending time on another little project and it's taking a mental toll on me. I've been writing a lot. Just not here. The truth is, there are some things in my life that I'm forcing myself to deal with and writing about them is the only way I seem to be able to do that. I wrote of censorship not too long ago, and it got me thinking about something I had myself been censoring. And well, this something is something I'm choosing not to post here.

Sometimes you just need to scream out loud, and not let everyone hear you. Right now, I really need to let some things go. First, I have to remember. Shed some tears, as I fill in the details and miniscule moments I otherwise forced myself to forget.

What I have learned in this process is that the acknowledgement and the writing has opened up the flood gates in me. It's almost like if I don't get it out of me somehow, my heart and mind will explode...soon. I need to focus on getting it all out of my head. So that I don't forget all that I've learned in the last 9 months about myself. I must do this so I don't let my heart get cold.

Don't get me wrong. Things are pretty darn good for me right now. All in all, I have a profound peace about me since moving. Sure, there is a lot of adjustment and my social life isn't exactly thriving...but at the same time, I never feel like I want for anything to do. I never feel like just staying inside my apartment like I did in LEX. I feel better here. It's nice to live in a place where family is just a couple miles away. Where a best friend isn't much farther. And where everyone isn't cut out of the same white-bread mold. It's nice to have so much ahead and so much opportunity.

But I need to let go. So that I don't wake from another dream in tears. Or spend anymore time living in a moment that has already come to pass. I need to cherish the good and I'm afraid that if I don't take the time to do this, that I will be confined to another week, month, year chained to its memory.

And I don't want to lose sight of all that is good in my life, because there is far more that is good than isn't. So my diatribes and quick updates may remain for a bit. Until I get it all out and not be anymore exposed then my own emotions allow. I hope you will understand.


I just need to scream for a little bit.

Scream.

Into the infinite abyss.

Even Though I Keep On Trying

It's Starting To Be More Than Coincidence

Made a new friend.

He's a...

Seriously, universe. WTF.





(It's just commical anymore. No offense to my other Pisces friends out there...)

Tragic

TGGF is headed back to my favorite city tonight.

Trip has been cut short. By. Three. Weeks.

I'm crying.

He's back in August...sigh.


In other international news, the rumor on the street is that Mercedes headquarters is coming to the new office around the corner from Casa de Natty. You know what that means...tee hee...

The Virginian

After a long 3-ish hours of sitting at the ewwww Virginia Department of Motor Vehicles (DMV), by the Vee and I ... I'm officially a Virginian. I surrendered my Kentucky license for that of the other Commonwealth. Weird. My plates are still to be changed on my car. But maybe I'll get someone to do it this weekend. It's a commitment thing. Bygones.

I Said A Prayer For You Today

I've been so caught up in my life as of late, I haven't relayed the most important happening in my family right now.

My sister is trying to have a baby.

So, in 10-days, she and her husband will get on a plane and go to Los Angeles, alongside our cousin and her husband and try to make one.

You can read her story here.

It's a story about survival. And of defying the odds. A long road travelled in a relatively short time. Of love. Of hope. Of sacrafice. A journey where you will find the ultimate example of unselfishness...

And when you have read her story, may you take away with the lessons I have come to learn from being blessed by her over the last 22-years. She offers a lesson more valuable than many are ever able to learn.

These are only a few of the lessons she has taught me.

Live each day with acceptance, with defiance, with inner beauty, with grace. Smile. Laugh, a lot. Create your own reality. Let go. Trust. Believe. Be happy. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Have hope. And faith. Love wildly, love more than conventional wisdom says you should. Believe. Rebel. Take chances. Don't. Ever. Give. Up. Sometimes, the only thing in life you can control is the way you deal with defeat. Laugh. Let go. Be a good person. Sing like you have an awesome voice. Write. Express yourself. Just be happy. Life is hard. Get over it. Take time to cry. Believe. Laugh. Choose to create your destiny instead of letting your destiny choose you. Be yourself. Be it well. Laugh. Let go. Don't take anything for granted. Choose to be happy. Some lessons you never want to have to learn. Sometimes the truth hurts more than you thought it could. Some decisions have to be made ahead of time. Life is hard. But who said an easy life is any way to really live...


May God continue to bless you my sweet sister. May you know how very much I love you and support you, and how much I look forward to more of your unsuspecting life lessons.

Thank you, Shannon. For being what I couldn't be to her. For doing the one thing I always wished to do for her, but couldn't follow through with. Thank you, for loving her like I love her...

Monday

This day started like any other. Except there was a crisp coolness in the air as I took Abby out this morning. A flawless sky. A warm sun without the threat of the oppressive humidity I like to call "July." A beautiful day, coupled with the best friend who is visiting this week. And the impending sighting of a gorgeous giggling Frenchman...

It all went to shit at about 10:00 a.m..

Today was one of those days that will make me cuss (32 F-bombs), drink (0 but looking up), and smoke (6 by 12:30). A lot. Without going into the dirty details due to possible litigation that might come my way, lets just say, I might not have made a good judgement call on the company I now call mine. There are some who like to throw me under the bus, yet others who just don't respond--well, they respond, just not to me--and some practices long ingrained, that I'm not sure may ever be changed. Even with my persuasive, sparkling and effervescent personality...

Plus I hit a car, kind of backed into it when I was furiously leaving to return to the pit of despair. There was a man across the street who I'm 110% sure saw me do it. But alas, he might take pity on me (since I did get a speeding ticket this weekend), and be a kind soul and not leave a note on the unsuspecting victims dash telling of my wicked hit-and-run-way. It was only a tap. Gentle, kiss on the cheek if you will.

Anyway...


The Gorgeous Giggly Frenchman (to be referred to herein as TGGF) has arrived on these shores once again. He is as dark and beautiful as I remember him to be. And he is as giggly as he was before. But this time he is asking questions. This time I was greeted with a great big smile and a "hiiiiiiiiiiiiii." Oh, and a follow up "It's hard to be sad around you, isn't it?" A lovely, poigniant, question from what one can only surmise as a natural response to that big dorky grin I gave him ((as our eyes locked for those three long seconds I convienently (read: strategically)) walked back to my desk from the printer).

Pshew. That was a long sentance.

Did I mention that he is sitting at the desk to my left?

And he is suggesting cocktails...Tee hee...

And he has no plans other than to sleep this weekend...

I'm sorry, did I hear that correctly?

Reaaaally?


Muauahhahhhaaaa....



I don't know. Might I suggest a companion?



(Mom, ha ha I'm just kidding. I would never suggest that a GGF need a beautiful bedfellow such as your daughter. It's only a joke. Please. You rasied me better than that. I mean...sheesh. Such silly talk. Bygones.)