1.12.2007

Somebody in Singapore Loves Me...

Yep.

I'm a true international woman of mystery.

Speaking of...I haven't officially said it, but, I'm going to Belgium a week from Sunday. I don't think I've really staked it's claim yet, or at least announced it here. But I am. And I am pretty excited. Scared. Nervous. Excited. Estatic. It's sort of like every emotion you could possibly have all rolled into one. See there's this boy and well, he's pretty fantastic, a great friend met by chance, and someone I'm not likely to ever forget. Anyway, I'm going. Even if it's crazy or illogical. Or totally outer limits. Sometimes this girl just has to go.

Wherever. The road. May. Lead.

It's also the first time I've been on a real "vacation" in over two years. I can't express how much I am looking forward to not being in Lexington, or Columbus for that matter...but someplace completely new to me - a world much different from my own. One that I'm sure to come back from only a week - with a lifetime of stories - and one in which I have no idea what it will mean in the end.

I've already seen how this year is about letting my course set it's own sail. And believing that the course is worth sailing. Funny thing is, I don't care where it may lead - or where it may not - it's just sort of about the journey I come to take along the way. It's the journey that inspires me - not the destination. For me, looking to the destination isn't something I can personally fixate on anymore - it's something I used to try to do - but something I no longer find worthwhile. I strive now only for the things I may come to learn, the places I'm blessed to go, and the people I'm lucky enough to share the road with. Maybe it's the peace I've been looking for all along...

Just being in the moment. Not trying to figure out the what happens after.

I believe that this year will be a turning point for me - and the person I am yet to become. There is something sweet in that. Knowing that I am continuing to grow, to strive, and learn. To me this journey is about not getting fixated on the ghosts of the pasts, the ghosts of the present, or the ghosts of the future - but just enjoying the realness of the moment. Perhaps that's why I'm going to Belgium, perhaps that's why I am scared and excited and don't care if it makes sense or not. But just because.

Because it makes sense to me.

Because there is a fabulous person at the end of the road who I feel comfort in just being next to. A friend to whom I'm forever grateful. A man who knows how to make me feel like a million bucks even from a seemingly insurmountable distance. He who is the most unlikely, but who has the most indescribable eyes I've ever seen. And he who is the most endearing person I've ever encountered.

An act of faith. Of hope? Of wonder.

A journey.


A journey which I'm prepared to take, and one that I take willingly.

3 comments:

NB-C said...

Checklist for Nat's trip:

1. Bring back all kinds of fun factoids about Belgium...

2. Come back to the Lex energized and ready to kick ass...

3. GET LAID...PLEASE.

Love ya!

The Notorious N.A.T said...

OH.
MY.
GOD.

I so cannot believe you just said that.

Mother, don't worry. I don't do that...Nema's just being silly.

SEDW said...

You're taking a leap....sometimes the landing is bumpy, but in my experience, my leaps have turned into the greatest journeys and destinations of my life.