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Well, it's March 1 and as of today, it's also officially time to say a bientot to Mr. Penny.

I've spent the last several weeks trying to decipher and decode a relationship that has come close, but has fallen short of being just that. I'm not sad. I'm not upset. I'm just done. Don't get me wrong, I still want to be his friend...but I ain't gonna waste the time playing mind games. Nope. Not gonna spend another phone call asking NB-C, Vee, or SEDW what they think he means. I just don't have the energy. So on to greener pastures. If there is one thing I have learned in the last two months its that it just shouldn't be this hard. If people like each other, than why not say it. If you don't like each other in a GF/BF sort of way, than say that too. If you want to be my buddy, I'm cool with it. I promise, I will be OKAY. Just say SOMETHING. Women are a different breed, yes, but men give us too little credit when it comes to hearing the cold hard truth.

I myself am not always good about confronting people because I don't want to hurt anyones feelings...ever. But one thing I have learned over the last year is that I have to be more direct in acknowledging the way I feel or the way I want to be treated. I have learned that it is okay to say what I think. I have learned that sometimes its better to put it out there, or take the step that from far away looks so hard. I've also learned that sometimes it's better to just shut up. I've learned that if I don't acknowledge whatever may be bothering me, the only place I am is in a consuming world of ever wondering. I'm not great at this yet. But I have realized it. And that is a start.

So here's to Mr. Penny. (And a promise to not go all post-Mr. Potential-oh-my-God-Nat-has-lost-it-again-psycho-on-your-ass). You and I will still be friends and I will be glad for that. But you are, indeed, a Pisces, and it will serve as a final lesson for me not to get involved with another one. Done and done. I sincerely hope you find whoever and whatever it is you are looking for. I hope you know that it's okay that we didn't work out. I hope for the sake of all the others to come, they clearly define what it means (or doesn't mean) to text or instant message in the next addition of HJNTITY. This whatever of ours tells me it should be its own chapter. You are a good soul and I have a damn good time when I am around you. I hate this only because I liked the way you were completely yourself around my friends. I liked that they liked you. That's hard. I apologize again for the JS comment. It wasn't a comparison, nor was it fair. I have learned my lesson. Yes, I sure have. It has been a fun couple of months. You made me laugh when I needed to laugh most. I found out that you love silver shorts and remote controls and not to get in the way of either of those. You are wicked funny. I really liked kissing you. I liked how you looked in jeans and a button down shirt. Alas, you wear great shoes and that is very important. What sets you apart is that I know I can still enjoy you and be your friend and thus I will not recount what you are not. What is obvious to me today, is what should have been obvious before...You are not right for me. If you were, you wouldn't have made me doubt. All is not lost. After all, you have put the exclamation point back at the end of "Nat's ready for a relationship!" Thank you for confirming that I am indeed. As I rid you from the noise (not rid you from my life), I must say...I have enjoyed laughing with you.