Time For A Change

I started blogging in January of 2006. And it's been a really great way for me to get the things that were stuck inside my head, out and available for the world to see. Granted, there are only a few of you out there who read it consistently, a handful more who find me by chance and check back in every so often, and there are those who find me by Googling "Whitman," or "Is this as good as it gets," or my recent favorite - and one I've contemplated blogging about - "Can laughter give enough fuel to live?"

My blog is my journal, my diary...it's a lot of what is going on around me, or what I'm milling over at any given point in time. It's very simply, just who I am. There are stories about things that are very personal to me, like my divorce, like the death of my grandmother, like the people and places and events that my journey has afforded me over the last year and a half. I put myself out there, knowing it can be found, knowing that at any given point in time I could say the wrong thing or hurt the wrong people.

And even though I tend to get a bit windy, there are a lot more stories, experiences, and happenings I choose not to include. There is a lot I don't say, mostly because the information can be misconstrued, misundertood, misinterpreted. What is more, what I don't say is because I am censoring myself from the admission of what I don't want people to hear because it means acknowledging things I'm not quite ready to say outloud. There are certain things a girl must let her heart and mind contain. There are certain friendships that must be protected. There are apologies you can't always make online. There are certain times when you just can't expose all the details of your life.

In recent conversations about this little blog of mine, I've become aware of what these words can do if taken in the wrong context, or if stumbled upon by unprepared eyes. How maybe my words for all of you to read can be blasphemous or hurtful. All I can say is that there are some posts in here, like the ones I've labeled as "Take Another Little Piece of My Heart," whose relevance lasts perpetually. Most of the other is only relevant for the precise time I'm writing in. The difference is, I don't go back and tell you how the story ends up. I don't tell you how the arguements end, where the resolution comes, or when it is I let go.

Just trust that the people I write about are those whose friendships are the most significant to me. And that no matter how the friendship came to be, that they are there for a reason, that they matter to me or they wouldn't weigh on my mind, and that most of the time...most of the time, the resolution comes to pass.

So with that being said, it was time for a change to the look of this blog. A time significant not only because of my recent move, but because to anyone reading this, you should understand these terms, if you choose to keep reading. You should understand that this is how I express myself. This is how I say to you what it is I need. This is what is going on in my life at this time. This is where my heart is spilled out. Happy. Sad. Pissed. Reflecting. Acknowledging. Whatever. This is where you, dear reader, are perpetually a part of me. And I pledge to you, that in this change, the stories that may include you will be censored with the same guard as I sometimes give to myself. At least I will try.

To those of you who read me, thank you for being a part of me and loving me anyway. To those of you who just found me, or to those who understand anything you've read here, may you know our souls likeness is closer than you think...may you know, you've found a friend.

Cheers,
Nat