6.05.2007

Multitudes

It seems there are places and times in your life where you are naturally more reflective and conscious of just where your place in this world is. Sometimes its because of a million little things that just add up and all of a sudden you realize that where you are isn't because of chance. But because of the footprints you've left for days, weeks, months, years before. Sometimes its because people come and go...love you and leave you. You realize more than just the happenings of the day, but the happenings of a journey, and you see the stepping stones that were laid out before you - instead of looking at them with eyes and a heart that couldn't figure out their path. You acknowledge that there is something bigger than you at work. A force greater than your logic can explain. Maybe you understand the reason. You give it pause, and thanks, and remember what it's like to have faith...

To have hope.

To embrace the beauty of learning and brushing off that jaded being you had become. You stop being cynical and start again, just because you finally can take a deep breath, exhale, and do it all over again. You realize you have just continued learning. You realize you just made it through. Your tears dry and you quietly come to understand that the reasons for them were bigger than you can ever grasp, and you find peace within. You smell fresh Honeysuckle in the air and you savor its sweetness and the way it seems to be omnipresent now. You stop equating that favorite scent with the name of the street on which a faded memory stands, where you once lived. Because it now signals what it means to move forward, to go for what you want instead of settling. That enveloping scent means that fear didn't stop you. It now signals that you are capable of more than you know. That you can. What's more, it means that you did.

Suddenly, you look up at the sky and you realize your tears of the past were from the fear of the doors closing, instead of the joy for those being opened up in front of you...Those doors that seem to beckon your presence to walk through them. As if someone were there showing you the way...

The way to...

A new place of self assuredness. To serenity. To empowerment. To choice. To celebration. Towards the unknown. New places. New adventures. New ways. Endless possibility. To greater self-reliance. Inner peace. Family. Re-discovery. Challenge. To continue the journey. To move forward. On to where you always wanted to be.

On the way to something fantastic...

...That place you've been looking to find for so long... a road on which the time has been short, but where just around the corner you can tell that it is beginning to look like, to feel like...


Home.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

OMG- Good for you girl. You, my dear, are gonna be just fine! I just hope that you can find a stylist as FAB as me!! I'll certainly miss laughing w/you!