6.28.2007
6.27.2007
Pardon the Interruption...
Just got the best news of the last few weeks and I am giddy...GIDDY!
The French hottie who giggles at me when I look at him (even in serious conversation) is coming back on Monday. Did you hear me? MONDAY!
AND, the best part?
He's freakin staying the whole month. THE WHOLE MONTH.
Shit.
I nevah' been so 'hoppy in my 'hole liiiife.
Well, that maybe a tad bit of an exaggeration. But STILL!
Yep. I'm a dork.
Don't rub it in.
It's the small things in life that give me the most pleasure. Well, that's not entirely true. Bygones.
The French hottie who giggles at me when I look at him (even in serious conversation) is coming back on Monday. Did you hear me? MONDAY!
AND, the best part?
He's freakin staying the whole month. THE WHOLE MONTH.
Shit.
I nevah' been so 'hoppy in my 'hole liiiife.
Well, that maybe a tad bit of an exaggeration. But STILL!
Yep. I'm a dork.
Don't rub it in.
It's the small things in life that give me the most pleasure. Well, that's not entirely true. Bygones.
Time For A Change
I started blogging in January of 2006. And it's been a really great way for me to get the things that were stuck inside my head, out and available for the world to see. Granted, there are only a few of you out there who read it consistently, a handful more who find me by chance and check back in every so often, and there are those who find me by Googling "Whitman," or "Is this as good as it gets," or my recent favorite - and one I've contemplated blogging about - "Can laughter give enough fuel to live?"
My blog is my journal, my diary...it's a lot of what is going on around me, or what I'm milling over at any given point in time. It's very simply, just who I am. There are stories about things that are very personal to me, like my divorce, like the death of my grandmother, like the people and places and events that my journey has afforded me over the last year and a half. I put myself out there, knowing it can be found, knowing that at any given point in time I could say the wrong thing or hurt the wrong people.
And even though I tend to get a bit windy, there are a lot more stories, experiences, and happenings I choose not to include. There is a lot I don't say, mostly because the information can be misconstrued, misundertood, misinterpreted. What is more, what I don't say is because I am censoring myself from the admission of what I don't want people to hear because it means acknowledging things I'm not quite ready to say outloud. There are certain things a girl must let her heart and mind contain. There are certain friendships that must be protected. There are apologies you can't always make online. There are certain times when you just can't expose all the details of your life.
In recent conversations about this little blog of mine, I've become aware of what these words can do if taken in the wrong context, or if stumbled upon by unprepared eyes. How maybe my words for all of you to read can be blasphemous or hurtful. All I can say is that there are some posts in here, like the ones I've labeled as "Take Another Little Piece of My Heart," whose relevance lasts perpetually. Most of the other is only relevant for the precise time I'm writing in. The difference is, I don't go back and tell you how the story ends up. I don't tell you how the arguements end, where the resolution comes, or when it is I let go.
Just trust that the people I write about are those whose friendships are the most significant to me. And that no matter how the friendship came to be, that they are there for a reason, that they matter to me or they wouldn't weigh on my mind, and that most of the time...most of the time, the resolution comes to pass.
So with that being said, it was time for a change to the look of this blog. A time significant not only because of my recent move, but because to anyone reading this, you should understand these terms, if you choose to keep reading. You should understand that this is how I express myself. This is how I say to you what it is I need. This is what is going on in my life at this time. This is where my heart is spilled out. Happy. Sad. Pissed. Reflecting. Acknowledging. Whatever. This is where you, dear reader, are perpetually a part of me. And I pledge to you, that in this change, the stories that may include you will be censored with the same guard as I sometimes give to myself. At least I will try.
To those of you who read me, thank you for being a part of me and loving me anyway. To those of you who just found me, or to those who understand anything you've read here, may you know our souls likeness is closer than you think...may you know, you've found a friend.
Cheers,
Nat
My blog is my journal, my diary...it's a lot of what is going on around me, or what I'm milling over at any given point in time. It's very simply, just who I am. There are stories about things that are very personal to me, like my divorce, like the death of my grandmother, like the people and places and events that my journey has afforded me over the last year and a half. I put myself out there, knowing it can be found, knowing that at any given point in time I could say the wrong thing or hurt the wrong people.
And even though I tend to get a bit windy, there are a lot more stories, experiences, and happenings I choose not to include. There is a lot I don't say, mostly because the information can be misconstrued, misundertood, misinterpreted. What is more, what I don't say is because I am censoring myself from the admission of what I don't want people to hear because it means acknowledging things I'm not quite ready to say outloud. There are certain things a girl must let her heart and mind contain. There are certain friendships that must be protected. There are apologies you can't always make online. There are certain times when you just can't expose all the details of your life.
In recent conversations about this little blog of mine, I've become aware of what these words can do if taken in the wrong context, or if stumbled upon by unprepared eyes. How maybe my words for all of you to read can be blasphemous or hurtful. All I can say is that there are some posts in here, like the ones I've labeled as "Take Another Little Piece of My Heart," whose relevance lasts perpetually. Most of the other is only relevant for the precise time I'm writing in. The difference is, I don't go back and tell you how the story ends up. I don't tell you how the arguements end, where the resolution comes, or when it is I let go.
Just trust that the people I write about are those whose friendships are the most significant to me. And that no matter how the friendship came to be, that they are there for a reason, that they matter to me or they wouldn't weigh on my mind, and that most of the time...most of the time, the resolution comes to pass.
So with that being said, it was time for a change to the look of this blog. A time significant not only because of my recent move, but because to anyone reading this, you should understand these terms, if you choose to keep reading. You should understand that this is how I express myself. This is how I say to you what it is I need. This is what is going on in my life at this time. This is where my heart is spilled out. Happy. Sad. Pissed. Reflecting. Acknowledging. Whatever. This is where you, dear reader, are perpetually a part of me. And I pledge to you, that in this change, the stories that may include you will be censored with the same guard as I sometimes give to myself. At least I will try.
To those of you who read me, thank you for being a part of me and loving me anyway. To those of you who just found me, or to those who understand anything you've read here, may you know our souls likeness is closer than you think...may you know, you've found a friend.
Cheers,
Nat
6.26.2007
Natology
(thanks, Kate)
Q. What is your salad dressing of choice?
A. Lemon juice & olive oil.
Q. What is your favorite fast food restaurant?
A. Wendy's.
Q. What is your favorite sit-down restaurant?
A. PF Chang's for widespread appeal. Still looking for that favorite here.
Q. On average, what size tip do you leave at a restaurant?
A. 20% or whatever rounds up most effectively.
Q. What food could you eat every day for two weeks and not get sick off of?
A. Undoubtadly, potatoes.
Q. What are your pizza toppings of choice?
A. Mushroom, bacon, onion, cheese.
Q. What do you like to put on your toast?
A. Butter.
Q. What is your favorite type of gum?
A. Eclipse Spearmint.
TECHNOLOGY
Q. Number of contacts in your cell phone?
A: Guessing, fifty? Probably more.
Q. Number of contacts in your email address book?
A. For those I regularly email, 20.
Q. What is your wallpaper on your computer?
A. Roses.
Q. How many televisions are in your house?
A. That would be deux. And yep, it's only 702 sq. feet.
BIOLOGY
Q. Are you right-handed or left-handed?
A. Right-handed.
Q. What’s your best feature?
A. Eyes. I use them to make cute French boys giggle.
Q. Have you ever had anything removed from your body?
A. A mole the size of a pencil eraser that left a 1 inch scar on my ass. Hawt.
Q. Which of your five senses do you think is keenest?
A. Does intuition count?
Q. When was the last time you had a cavity?
A. 2-years ago.
Q. What is the heaviest item you lifted last?
A. My suitcase.
Q. Have you ever been knocked unconscious?
A. Only when I got hit by lightning.
BULL[CRAP]OLOGY
Q. If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die?
A. Torn on this subject. Think I'll just keep livin' like I was dyin'...
Q. Is love for real?
A. Not sure at present. Maybe love is something different to everyone. Maybe the idea of love is the only thing I am in love with...the only thing I am capable of really loving.
Q. If you could change your name, what would you change it to?
A. Isabella. And I'd want to be called Izzy.
Q. What color do you think looks best on you?
A. Blue. What do I wear? Black.
Q. Have you ever swallowed a non-food item by mistake?
A. Technically, no?
Q. Have you ever saved someone’s life?
A. No.
Q. Has someone ever saved yours?
A. Saved my heart, maybe.
DAREOLOGY
Q. Would you walk naked for a half mile down a public street for $100,000?
A. Heck yes I would.
Q. Would you kiss a member of the same sex for $100?
A. Yes.
Q. Would you allow one of your little fingers to be cut off for $200,000
A. Doubt it. Although, it would pay off my debt.
Q. Would you never blog again for $50,000?
A. Are you kidding, real therapy would cost me a lot more than that! Nobody puts Baby in a corner.
Q. Would you pose naked in a magazine for $250,000?
A. Might be a little awkward for the readers, but a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do.
Q. Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1000?
A. Two words: plane ticket. Yes.
Q. Would you, without fear of punishment, take a human life for $1,000,000?
A. Not for a billion.
Q. Would you give up watching television for a year for $25,000?
A. I'd try. Though success is questionable.
DUMBOLOGY
Q: What is in your left pocket
A. No pockets.
Q: Is Napoleon Dynamite actually a good movie?
A: Tops in my book.
Q: Do you have hardwood or carpet in your house?
A: Carpet.
Q: Do you sit or stand in the shower?
A: Is that a trick question? Depends? Only when convienent? WTF?
Q: Could you live with roommates?
A: Not anymore. I don't want anybody's stuff integrated into mine. Still pondering and am open to negotiation should the right roommate be found.
Q: How many pairs of flip flops do you own?
A: 7+/-
Q: Where were you born?
A: NashVegas, TN
Q: Last time you had a run-in with the cops?
A: Not in a long time, thankfully.
Q: What do you want to be when you grow up?
A: Rich. Thin. Surgically altered. A mother. (In no particular order, of course).
Q: Who is number 1 on your top 8
A: NB-C.
LASTOLOGY
Q: Friend you talked to?
A: SEDW.
Q: Last person you called?
A: Vee.
Q: Person you hugged?
A: My aunt.
Q: Person you kissed?
A: I should let your minds wander from what I'm not saying...
Q: Number?
A: 3 or 5. Five is my life path number so it out weighs the 3.
Q: Color?
A: Blue.
Q: Season?
A: Fall.
CURRENTOLOGY
Q: Missing someone?
A: Always.
Q: Mood?
A: Tired. Pensive.
Q: Listening to?
A: Check the right side, check the bottom. One of the two.
Q: Watching?
A. Myself fill out another survey.
Q: Worrying about?
A: Nothing, surprisingly. Absolutely, nothing.
RANDOMOLOGY
Q: First place you went this morning?
A: To the park.
Q: What can you not wait to do?
A: See Vee.
Q: What’s the last movie you saw?
A: Wild Hogs? Terrible airplane movie.
Q: Do you smile often?
A: Yes, indeed.
Q: Are you a friendly person?
A: Most of the time. Till I have to whip the bitch out.
Q: Now that the survey's done what are you going to do?
A: Review a few more contracts.
Let others know a little more about yourself, repost this as your name followed by “ology.”
Q. What is your salad dressing of choice?
A. Lemon juice & olive oil.
Q. What is your favorite fast food restaurant?
A. Wendy's.
Q. What is your favorite sit-down restaurant?
A. PF Chang's for widespread appeal. Still looking for that favorite here.
Q. On average, what size tip do you leave at a restaurant?
A. 20% or whatever rounds up most effectively.
Q. What food could you eat every day for two weeks and not get sick off of?
A. Undoubtadly, potatoes.
Q. What are your pizza toppings of choice?
A. Mushroom, bacon, onion, cheese.
Q. What do you like to put on your toast?
A. Butter.
Q. What is your favorite type of gum?
A. Eclipse Spearmint.
TECHNOLOGY
Q. Number of contacts in your cell phone?
A: Guessing, fifty? Probably more.
Q. Number of contacts in your email address book?
A. For those I regularly email, 20.
Q. What is your wallpaper on your computer?
A. Roses.
Q. How many televisions are in your house?
A. That would be deux. And yep, it's only 702 sq. feet.
BIOLOGY
Q. Are you right-handed or left-handed?
A. Right-handed.
Q. What’s your best feature?
A. Eyes. I use them to make cute French boys giggle.
Q. Have you ever had anything removed from your body?
A. A mole the size of a pencil eraser that left a 1 inch scar on my ass. Hawt.
Q. Which of your five senses do you think is keenest?
A. Does intuition count?
Q. When was the last time you had a cavity?
A. 2-years ago.
Q. What is the heaviest item you lifted last?
A. My suitcase.
Q. Have you ever been knocked unconscious?
A. Only when I got hit by lightning.
BULL[CRAP]OLOGY
Q. If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die?
A. Torn on this subject. Think I'll just keep livin' like I was dyin'...
Q. Is love for real?
A. Not sure at present. Maybe love is something different to everyone. Maybe the idea of love is the only thing I am in love with...the only thing I am capable of really loving.
Q. If you could change your name, what would you change it to?
A. Isabella. And I'd want to be called Izzy.
Q. What color do you think looks best on you?
A. Blue. What do I wear? Black.
Q. Have you ever swallowed a non-food item by mistake?
A. Technically, no?
Q. Have you ever saved someone’s life?
A. No.
Q. Has someone ever saved yours?
A. Saved my heart, maybe.
DAREOLOGY
Q. Would you walk naked for a half mile down a public street for $100,000?
A. Heck yes I would.
Q. Would you kiss a member of the same sex for $100?
A. Yes.
Q. Would you allow one of your little fingers to be cut off for $200,000
A. Doubt it. Although, it would pay off my debt.
Q. Would you never blog again for $50,000?
A. Are you kidding, real therapy would cost me a lot more than that! Nobody puts Baby in a corner.
Q. Would you pose naked in a magazine for $250,000?
A. Might be a little awkward for the readers, but a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do.
Q. Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1000?
A. Two words: plane ticket. Yes.
Q. Would you, without fear of punishment, take a human life for $1,000,000?
A. Not for a billion.
Q. Would you give up watching television for a year for $25,000?
A. I'd try. Though success is questionable.
DUMBOLOGY
Q: What is in your left pocket
A. No pockets.
Q: Is Napoleon Dynamite actually a good movie?
A: Tops in my book.
Q: Do you have hardwood or carpet in your house?
A: Carpet.
Q: Do you sit or stand in the shower?
A: Is that a trick question? Depends? Only when convienent? WTF?
Q: Could you live with roommates?
A: Not anymore. I don't want anybody's stuff integrated into mine. Still pondering and am open to negotiation should the right roommate be found.
Q: How many pairs of flip flops do you own?
A: 7+/-
Q: Where were you born?
A: NashVegas, TN
Q: Last time you had a run-in with the cops?
A: Not in a long time, thankfully.
Q: What do you want to be when you grow up?
A: Rich. Thin. Surgically altered. A mother. (In no particular order, of course).
Q: Who is number 1 on your top 8
A: NB-C.
LASTOLOGY
Q: Friend you talked to?
A: SEDW.
Q: Last person you called?
A: Vee.
Q: Person you hugged?
A: My aunt.
Q: Person you kissed?
A: I should let your minds wander from what I'm not saying...
Q: Number?
A: 3 or 5. Five is my life path number so it out weighs the 3.
Q: Color?
A: Blue.
Q: Season?
A: Fall.
CURRENTOLOGY
Q: Missing someone?
A: Always.
Q: Mood?
A: Tired. Pensive.
Q: Listening to?
A: Check the right side, check the bottom. One of the two.
Q: Watching?
A. Myself fill out another survey.
Q: Worrying about?
A: Nothing, surprisingly. Absolutely, nothing.
RANDOMOLOGY
Q: First place you went this morning?
A: To the park.
Q: What can you not wait to do?
A: See Vee.
Q: What’s the last movie you saw?
A: Wild Hogs? Terrible airplane movie.
Q: Do you smile often?
A: Yes, indeed.
Q: Are you a friendly person?
A: Most of the time. Till I have to whip the bitch out.
Q: Now that the survey's done what are you going to do?
A: Review a few more contracts.
Let others know a little more about yourself, repost this as your name followed by “ology.”
6.25.2007
6.21.2007
Observations
Hi,
I haven't been very good about keeping up my blog recently, so to those who check regularly, sorry for the lack of fresh content. I don't know if it's that I don't have anything to say, that I don't know how I feel, or if it's just that I'm so darn tired these days that I can't keep up with this thing, too. Maybe it means my life is a taaaaad bit more exciting or that I'm finding more to do. Although, I'm not sure that's true either. Life is better here. Yes. But there is a trade, and some days that trade takes its toll.
I miss my job. I miss that company. I miss my friends from that company, and those other friends from the last 9 years in Lexington. But I don't miss the expansive lonlieness that that city filled me with. I don't miss the way I felt there. All. The. Time. Just kind of empty, just kind of sad.
I'm having a tough time getting used to this new job. It's not that I can't do it. It's that the people are so different, so kind of cold in some ways. They just don't feel like my old friends. And I remind myself that it's new, and it was months before the last felt comfortable...months, a year maybe before I really made my mark. Years before I would feel the ease I left with. It was a good ease. A familiar. Comfortable. Wonderful ease.
There hasn't been a day that has gone by where I have looked back, and this isn't one either. I am so happy that I am here. I am so happy that I did this, for me. And I know that this is where I was meant to be all those years ago. Here. Surrounded by this familiar, comfortable, wonderful ease...
So from where I'm standing, this is what I've observed so far:
I haven't been very good about keeping up my blog recently, so to those who check regularly, sorry for the lack of fresh content. I don't know if it's that I don't have anything to say, that I don't know how I feel, or if it's just that I'm so darn tired these days that I can't keep up with this thing, too. Maybe it means my life is a taaaaad bit more exciting or that I'm finding more to do. Although, I'm not sure that's true either. Life is better here. Yes. But there is a trade, and some days that trade takes its toll.
I miss my job. I miss that company. I miss my friends from that company, and those other friends from the last 9 years in Lexington. But I don't miss the expansive lonlieness that that city filled me with. I don't miss the way I felt there. All. The. Time. Just kind of empty, just kind of sad.
I'm having a tough time getting used to this new job. It's not that I can't do it. It's that the people are so different, so kind of cold in some ways. They just don't feel like my old friends. And I remind myself that it's new, and it was months before the last felt comfortable...months, a year maybe before I really made my mark. Years before I would feel the ease I left with. It was a good ease. A familiar. Comfortable. Wonderful ease.
There hasn't been a day that has gone by where I have looked back, and this isn't one either. I am so happy that I am here. I am so happy that I did this, for me. And I know that this is where I was meant to be all those years ago. Here. Surrounded by this familiar, comfortable, wonderful ease...
So from where I'm standing, this is what I've observed so far:
- I wish my bank was here. I hate my new one. The online banking is a nightmare and I just wonder how long it will be before I inadvertantly bounce a check because the bill payment is effed up.
- I got a tick in my hair and flipped out on Tuesday. Or, should I say, I found a tick attached to my head and flipped out on Tuesday. Just a dog tick. I think. So now am patiently waiting to get Lyme disease. That is until Vee, in her best-pulled-out-of-her-ass accent said "Well shhhhiiiitttt Naaaaaaaat! I used to get those all the thaaaayyymmee when i was a keeeiiiiddd." We laughed so hard I forgot that I might be dying.
- I now know what it's like to go to the Rolls Royce of tanning beds. It's hella expensive, and the fans will blow you away. So far, after two visits, only my face seems to get color. I think it's a scam. But nonetheless, I'm sold.
- Meeting fabulous bloggers is fun. It's amazing how much you can have in common with people you never met, but who are shockingly not that different from you. Especially when it comes to getting into conundrums. Or however you spell it.
- When you actually have plans, you actually get asked by other people to do things.
- Hanging out on a Saturday night with your aunt and uncle in the hot tub admiring the universe is a damn good way to spend an evening.
- Is it prettier here? Cause I'm pretty sure it's flippin' gorgeous and I'm pretty sure that I love it.
- Travelling through Dulles blows. B-L-O-W-S. Hello extremely busy, completely outdated, could-it-take-any-longer-to-get-my-stuff/ass-back-to-the-main-terminal?
- And I'm not a fan of United. For the simple reason that I finally made mediallion on Delta, and now I'm a nobody on United. Case in point, a 5-hour plane ride from LA to Dulles, middle seat, wedged between two very large people, and behind a 20 year old who kept insisting his seat went back farther than the legs behind it would allow. That is until I asserted my pissiness and said "Um, just so you know, my legs can't get shoved up my ass any farther." He sat his seat up and didn't budge or dare look at me the rest of the way.
- I need to take a French class. Also, I would really like to attend this little soiree but what does one wear to such a fete? Who can I con into going with me? What is colorful cocktail attire entail? If it's not black, I don't really know what to do. Palms get sweaty. Start shaking a little. I do believe the German Embassy event would be fun as well. You know, I have goals and all.
- Target is too close for my own good. If you can walk there (and yep, I have) it probably means you should never carry your purse with you. Because, you know how the Tarjay is. You go in for one thing, come out with 15-sudden must haves.
- Two words: Trader Joe's. Three more: 3 buck chuck.
- I really need some color on my walls. Pronto. The cream is sucking the life out of me. And I'd really appreciate a decorator to come in and spruce up my tired furnishings/decor. For free.
- Large marketing teams should be more efficient then some that will not be named.
- Favorite dog owner's line: "My dog is friendly. Is yours?" Yep. She's friendly alright. That is until your larger then her dog tries to make friends and she squeals like the little bitch she is. Boy that makes me happy, every single time she does it.
- Wait a minute. You mean to tell me I walk an hour a day, on average, eat nothing/don't eat out at lunch, and I'm not losing a pound? An inch? Whhhaaaaaaattt?????
- Is it wrong the 5:00-11:00 lobby guy is kind of cute? Is it wrong that I called Nanny Jo on the beotch across the hall from me because her screaming/out of control children are asses and they need to have the smack down? Is it wrong I no longer find taking an elevator to go outside a problem? And neither does Abby?
- Fabulous hair chick: I got a new do. And I love it. But, you can/will never be relplaced by the 80-pound woman who insisted I pick out a color and cut before doing anything to it.
- Why is it that you are half a world away and the universe still sends me messages and thoughts of you? How can it be that on one plane I see the word "Antwerp" in my reading materials. It jumps out at me almost as much as a stolen glimpse, catching only the word "Montmartre" did in the newspaper of my neighbor on the plane home.
- Did I really move to a place where the closest thing to a bar I have is that in which the majority of the space is a restaurant? Really? And it's true that you can still smoke in them here? Seriously?
- I wonder what's been going on in Lexington? I wonder if those friends miss me as much as I miss them. Cause, boy do I miss them.
Cheers,
N
6.11.2007
If Virginia is For Lovers...
Then what on earth could Paris be for?
Cause see, if I would have stayed in LexVegas, I would be in Paris right now...I still can't believe I gave it up.
Oui! C'est ça.
I would have been back in my favorite city of lights...and instead I'm heading to the city of Paris Hilton on Thursday. Oh. My. God. The irony is almost profound.
Wait, don't I work for a French company now?
Scratching head...
I suppose it's better this way. After all, this time it would have been a lonely trip, it would have lacked those big brown eyes I had become so accustomed to getting lost in.
C'est la vie, mes amies. C'est la vie.
PS: Speaking of, my Belgian, this one is for you. Found it a week or so ago at a bar not too far from me...thought you would get a big smile out of this...if it would have been on your birthday, and wouldn't have cost $45 to attend, I probably would have gone. I settled for proudly telling the waiter that I had, in fact, been to Ghent. You would also be glad to know they had Delerium on tap...But, instead I had a pint of Stella...cause well, you know how I love the Stella...
6.08.2007
I can't find a prettier boy
Okay,I've been waiting for this song to be on You Tube forever and now it is. Yay. You will have to look at his royal prettiness, my boy Paolo. Mmmmm, pretty. This is my favorite of his songs...
6.05.2007
Multitudes
It seems there are places and times in your life where you are naturally more reflective and conscious of just where your place in this world is. Sometimes its because of a million little things that just add up and all of a sudden you realize that where you are isn't because of chance. But because of the footprints you've left for days, weeks, months, years before. Sometimes its because people come and go...love you and leave you. You realize more than just the happenings of the day, but the happenings of a journey, and you see the stepping stones that were laid out before you - instead of looking at them with eyes and a heart that couldn't figure out their path. You acknowledge that there is something bigger than you at work. A force greater than your logic can explain. Maybe you understand the reason. You give it pause, and thanks, and remember what it's like to have faith...
To have hope.
To embrace the beauty of learning and brushing off that jaded being you had become. You stop being cynical and start again, just because you finally can take a deep breath, exhale, and do it all over again. You realize you have just continued learning. You realize you just made it through. Your tears dry and you quietly come to understand that the reasons for them were bigger than you can ever grasp, and you find peace within. You smell fresh Honeysuckle in the air and you savor its sweetness and the way it seems to be omnipresent now. You stop equating that favorite scent with the name of the street on which a faded memory stands, where you once lived. Because it now signals what it means to move forward, to go for what you want instead of settling. That enveloping scent means that fear didn't stop you. It now signals that you are capable of more than you know. That you can. What's more, it means that you did.
Suddenly, you look up at the sky and you realize your tears of the past were from the fear of the doors closing, instead of the joy for those being opened up in front of you...Those doors that seem to beckon your presence to walk through them. As if someone were there showing you the way...
The way to...
A new place of self assuredness. To serenity. To empowerment. To choice. To celebration. Towards the unknown. New places. New adventures. New ways. Endless possibility. To greater self-reliance. Inner peace. Family. Re-discovery. Challenge. To continue the journey. To move forward. On to where you always wanted to be.
On the way to something fantastic...
...That place you've been looking to find for so long... a road on which the time has been short, but where just around the corner you can tell that it is beginning to look like, to feel like...
Home.
To have hope.
To embrace the beauty of learning and brushing off that jaded being you had become. You stop being cynical and start again, just because you finally can take a deep breath, exhale, and do it all over again. You realize you have just continued learning. You realize you just made it through. Your tears dry and you quietly come to understand that the reasons for them were bigger than you can ever grasp, and you find peace within. You smell fresh Honeysuckle in the air and you savor its sweetness and the way it seems to be omnipresent now. You stop equating that favorite scent with the name of the street on which a faded memory stands, where you once lived. Because it now signals what it means to move forward, to go for what you want instead of settling. That enveloping scent means that fear didn't stop you. It now signals that you are capable of more than you know. That you can. What's more, it means that you did.
Suddenly, you look up at the sky and you realize your tears of the past were from the fear of the doors closing, instead of the joy for those being opened up in front of you...Those doors that seem to beckon your presence to walk through them. As if someone were there showing you the way...
The way to...
A new place of self assuredness. To serenity. To empowerment. To choice. To celebration. Towards the unknown. New places. New adventures. New ways. Endless possibility. To greater self-reliance. Inner peace. Family. Re-discovery. Challenge. To continue the journey. To move forward. On to where you always wanted to be.
On the way to something fantastic...
...That place you've been looking to find for so long... a road on which the time has been short, but where just around the corner you can tell that it is beginning to look like, to feel like...
Home.
6.01.2007
Relocated
...And happy.
I've been lacking a computer and therefore am unable to update about all the changes in the last week. But I'm here. And all is well. Start the job on Monday and looks like I'll head to ATL on Thursday and then to LA next Thursday and Friday. I would say the next few weeks are going to be a whirlwind. Thankfully, I went from the Hobbit House 40502 to a Deluxe Apartment in the Skkkyyyyy...so I've had a couple afternoons of R&R at the pool...
My Girl is enjoying a multitude of walks each day, and is settling in better than anticipated. We're in 702 sq. feet of hotel, er, apartment living bliss. Big change, but the right change...at the right time.
Lots to do and lots to take advantage of. I'm sitting here at SEDW's on a Friday afternoon, just cause. Cause I can. Cause I live here now. Finally.
:-)
Yay.
More to come when I have my own PC again, but to you who were wondering...I'm here.
The fantastic is just around the corner now...
Much to tell. More soon.
I've been lacking a computer and therefore am unable to update about all the changes in the last week. But I'm here. And all is well. Start the job on Monday and looks like I'll head to ATL on Thursday and then to LA next Thursday and Friday. I would say the next few weeks are going to be a whirlwind. Thankfully, I went from the Hobbit House 40502 to a Deluxe Apartment in the Skkkyyyyy...so I've had a couple afternoons of R&R at the pool...
My Girl is enjoying a multitude of walks each day, and is settling in better than anticipated. We're in 702 sq. feet of hotel, er, apartment living bliss. Big change, but the right change...at the right time.
Lots to do and lots to take advantage of. I'm sitting here at SEDW's on a Friday afternoon, just cause. Cause I can. Cause I live here now. Finally.
:-)
Yay.
More to come when I have my own PC again, but to you who were wondering...I'm here.
The fantastic is just around the corner now...
Much to tell. More soon.
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