2.06.2007

Is This a Joke?

Okay, I'm trying to remain calm about this sudden burst of artic air, but the longer this wicked cold persists, the more I want to pull every strand of hair from my head. I. Cannot. Stand. It.

I can understand that we were unusually blessed to have had a mild winter up until last week. I can be okay with the fact that we were doomed to have some sort of cold front - some cold weather, but come on. Three weeks of frigid? Every waking moment of windows that are drafty, a desk at work that rivals Antartica, and not to mention blowing off the gym because I have become paralyzed by the fear of what will happen to me once I am sweaty and Egads! step out into sub-zero temparatures! I'm sure even a doctor wouldn't recommend putting my health in jeopardy, because surely the health benefits of cardio would be lessened by a bout with pneumonia.

Slimy? Can you concur? Or at least tell me my neurosis is justified?

I really am a fan of mild temperatures. Love the spring. Love the fall. Love to never be at one extreme or another. I am a hostage in the Hobbit House. It's an inferno in the summer. It's an igloo in the winter. And seriously, those asshat neighbors of mine, I think are messing with me too. I can't even manage to get a hot shower. It's like they sit in their apartments below me and convienently keep their heat low and turn on and off their water at the same time I'm showering every morning just to prevent me from ever being warm!!! It's freaking ridiculous!!!

I can't help but wonder, what happens if it never ends! What if it's like this forever! What if I'm perpetually held hostage by cold air and threats of snow! It's frightening people!

Sleeping in flannel pants, socks, and a hooded sweatshirt is just not my style. And even a dog pressed up against me and a down comforter doesn't seem to help.

Forget this.

I'm moving to Hawaii, where the sun always shines, the water is always warm, and the temperature rarely goes below 80 degrees. I can imagine myself there now, all happy and warm, basking in the sun and all its glory...

...and yes, I'll try to forget (NB-C) who was there with me last...I know, I know, I should have taken you.

Bygones.

2 comments:

Rima and Kevin said...

Cold weather doesn't give you pneumonia; germs do (it's everyone huddling inside close together that passes along all the germs that cause winter illnesses). That being said, I can't seem to manage to get to the gym any day, any kind of weather, so if the cold weather keeps you at home, at least you have an excuse other than my excuse of laziness! Plus, maybe you would get pneumonia from hanging out in close proximity to all those people at the gym! Stay at home and eat something fried--doctor's orders.

The Notorious N.A.T said...

Thanks, doc!!!

I should have mentioned my germphobia as well...so definitely not going to the gym on Monday was a good idea. You know they were sure to be extra germy on that day.