Ya, That's Right, I'm Not Always A Nice Girl

On my way to the ladies room this afternoon I was once again caught off guard by another person of the female variety in front of me. Now, being that A) this happens a lot and B) that there is no special context here, this shouldn't have come as an alarming event. But what I saw in front of me has inspired me to start a new series on the dusty ol' blog of mine. That and I've seen a more comprehensive collection here recently. This might just solve my inability to blog when the inspiration is in front of me. So, because of today's event, I will now now actually use that handy little label feature and I will lovingly call these tidbits: Stuff That Really Annoys Me. And I vow to try to get photographic evidence when possible.

Stuff That Really Annoys Me: #1 - Khaki Pants and Visible Panty Lines

All I ask is dear Lord, why?

First issue: Khaki pants that are too tight on your butt isn't my problem, however, you have invited me in and made it my problem because you are showing me your unsolicited under garments. I did not ask for this. I did not want to know. I'm sorry that you have not understood that pleats aren't for anyone over a size 0. I'm sorry that the pockets fell off the back and therefore it make your butt look bigger, more heartshaped, than it probably is in real life. Please. For the love of humanity. If you must wear them, wear the full butt panty to avoid the bikini brief-I-see-the-lines-situation. Wear a thong and we eliminate the panty line issue all together. It's one issue we can resolve.

Second issue: You are beyond say, size 6* and you still wear them. I sincerely encourage you to learn directly from a from a former khaki wearer who has seen the error of her ways. These things were simply not made for you and me. I know, I know, a denim jacket and black tee are simply divine paired with a nice stone-khaki hue. Sometimes I am still lured by their charm, trying them on as if I might not be defeated this time. But alas...I do not wear them because I take pity on humanity, I take pity on the woman walking behind me on the way to the ladies room so that I can avoid her look of utter disbelief and disgust. And let's just face it, I do it because my ass, just as your ass, is never going to look good in them. EVER.

*This issue does not apply for women who have no ass (NB-C) because the material cannot cling to the bumps, valleys, or as I so lovingly refer to mine - the divots.