On One Month Without Her

My grandmother died a month ago today.

It's amazing how fast the time goes by anymore. How it's even possible to have said goodbye in the first place, let alone our final farewell four weeks ago. I mentioned in my eulogy to her (posted here) that our great bond was a love for our family - that bond that she instilled in me at a very early age. As I've reflected over the last four weeks on the life I had with her, I have spent countless hours looking at her pictures, remembering her voice, the sound of her laughter, the way she said "I love you, Natalie." I've thought about how she passed that love on to me - the love for her children, and for their children. How she gave me so much that never needed to be spoken. And as I drew pause, I remembered the legacy she left to me, so many years ago. Something she wrote in my baby book, and that I would sometimes read when I was missing home over the last few years. Something I'd read when I needed to feel whole, or real, or a part of something bigger. I don't believe it's been read by anyone other than me in almost as many years...but it's the one thing I treasure most in this world. These words that follow - a foundation for my whole life to come...Written by this most amazing woman I so proudly called, grandmother.



March 1, 1977…note from your grandmother…written during the period of time you and your mother and father are living at our house – 4221 Evansdale Road…Columbus, Ohio…

My dear little Natalie,

You are the first grandchild born into our family. Your grandfather and I have been with you since you came home from the hospital except for the week you returned to Nashville, Tennessee. You are now three months old as of the sixth of this month, and it didn’t take three months for us to love you very much and not surprisingly so, for I look forward to my family growing and there is much love in my heart for all.

You are a lucky little girl for my own children love you, too, and pay much attention to you. At this time your uncle Mark is a student in electrical engineering at Ohio State. Aunt Kris is a student in business administration at Miami U., and aunt Kathleen is a junior at "W" High School. Your grandfather is a pharmacist and has a couple of drug stores, a hardware store, and a carry out where you can go when you’re bigger to fix your own sundaes from his ice cream fountain. This is my ninth year as a fourth grade teacher at "G" Elementary School. I love what I do because being with children makes me very happy.

I think about you often even when I’m not with you, and you are one of my favorite topics of conversation with anyone who will listen. Your grandfather and I talk about all the things we want to do with you as you are growing up. I can promise you this – I’ll love you as a “pup” and will continue to do so when you’re full grown!

When I look at you I think you are beautiful. When I watch your reactions to your surroundings I think you’re very, very bright. When you smile at me I’m sure this is what life is all about for my own children gave me the same kind of pleasure.

Wherever you go, whatever you do, remember – this home will always be for you, too, as well as the rest of my children and their “future families.” With the “ups” and “downs” of family life, I want all of us to stay close and do for one another, for Natalie, your whole family will always be your best friends. May your life be filled with the love of a family for then you will know love and security which will help you give to your own something of yourself that will last forever.

The world is big, interesting and will show you beauty and challenges. How you live your life will be influenced by the love and closeness you feel towards your family. I will always be there when you need me and I plan to enjoy you as much as I enjoyed my own children. You are just one more piece of life’s wonderment – a child to know and love!

Your grandmother,
Mary