I Know This Much Is True

I am content.

Content for the first time in a long time just to let things be as they are. Maybe I've finally embraced the world around me. Maybe it's the sunshine. Maybe it's realizing that when it comes down to it - no matter how much drama, no matter how little money I have, no matter how many mistakes I've made (or continue to make), no matter how many times I mess up, no matter how few or how many men love me...I am still okay.

I've learned so much in the last year I can't even begin to start. That saying that life is a journey, not a destination resonates profoundly in me. Where I've been, where I'm going and who I'm becoming has never been more apparent than at this very moment in my life. Sometimes it's weird how truly conscious you can be of the things in your life you have control over. You can make the decision to stop smoking after 15-years (or at least when alcohol isn't involved). You can make the decision to just go to the gym or walk around the neighborhood just to not sit in front of the television. You can choose to be happy. You can choose to take things for face value instead of spending time wondering what is implied. You can be happy with what you have. You can be happy with what you don't have.

I don't remember the last time I felt this peace. I don't know if it will last long or if it will be gone tomorrow. I am just thankful that I feel it today.

con·tent

Pronunciation :: kun-'tent

Noun ::
1. content - the sum or range of what has been perceived, discovered, or learned.

Verb ::
1. content - make content; make happy or satisfied; "I am contented"

Adjective ::
1. content - satisfied or showing satisfaction with things as they are; "a contented smile"